Police Beat
The World of Men
BY CHARLES MUDEDE
The Other Woman/Capitol Hill/Wed Jan 11/10:00 pm: Officer Pomper reports: "The complainant [male, 50] told me that when he got up today he found that his wife had left the house without letting him know where she was going. The complainant said that he and his wife have been having marital problems, one of which being that his girlfriend lives with them. The complainant stated that his wife left in a similar fashion, for three days, a couple of weeks ago... Complainant told me that his wife was having emotional problems. I gave the complainant a case number."
That Thing/Queen Anne/Wed Jan 11/10:31 pm: Officer Bassett reports: "Suspect [white, male, 24, tall, thin, olive skin, flip-flops, salesman for Sprint] and friend came into the [popular Queen Anne] bar. It was obvious they were intoxicated. They were denied alcohol service but were told they could order food. A short time later, witness one heard the suspect say, 'I'm gonna pull my cock out right now.' Witness one watched as the suspect unzipped his khaki pants and pulled out his penis. The suspect then began swinging his hips back and forth while his penis was exposed. This occurred in the bar, which was full of customers. Witness one and witness two approached the suspect and told him that he had to leave immediately. [After a great show of resistance and a couple of blows,] the suspect was thrown outside. The suspect then walked away, screaming at the witnesses as he crossed Mercer Street... Based on the description provided by the employees, the suspect was apprehended and positively identified as the person who had removed his penis from his pants. However, no customer was willing to be listed as a victim of the exposed penis. The suspect is from Arizona but he now lives in Seattle."
The Telephone Guy/Lake City/Thurs Jan 12/10:41 pm: Officer Pirak reports: "The victim [white, male, 49, going through life in casual manner] said that he was having trouble with his phone line, so he called in a repair order. On Thursday, January 8, at around 8:00 a.m., the telephone man [white, male, in his 40s, blond, tall, thin, going through life in a hurried manner] showed up at the victim's apartment, saying he was there to service the phone line. The victim said that he wanted to reschedule, because it was 8:00 a.m. in the [fucking] morning, and the repairman showed up unannounced. After that early visit, the repairman called at least 10 times, wanting to come to the victim's apartment and fix the phone. The repairman would not relent; he [badly] wanted to fix the victim's phone. Finally, the victim called the phone company, and they told him that the problem had already been fixed, remotely. They had never sent anyone to his house and did not know anything about the suspect." The report ends right there, failing to ask or consider the most burning question: How does the fake telephone man have access to real repair orders?
The World of Men
BY CHARLES MUDEDE
The Other Woman/Capitol Hill/Wed Jan 11/10:00 pm: Officer Pomper reports: "The complainant [male, 50] told me that when he got up today he found that his wife had left the house without letting him know where she was going. The complainant said that he and his wife have been having marital problems, one of which being that his girlfriend lives with them. The complainant stated that his wife left in a similar fashion, for three days, a couple of weeks ago... Complainant told me that his wife was having emotional problems. I gave the complainant a case number."
That Thing/Queen Anne/Wed Jan 11/10:31 pm: Officer Bassett reports: "Suspect [white, male, 24, tall, thin, olive skin, flip-flops, salesman for Sprint] and friend came into the [popular Queen Anne] bar. It was obvious they were intoxicated. They were denied alcohol service but were told they could order food. A short time later, witness one heard the suspect say, 'I'm gonna pull my cock out right now.' Witness one watched as the suspect unzipped his khaki pants and pulled out his penis. The suspect then began swinging his hips back and forth while his penis was exposed. This occurred in the bar, which was full of customers. Witness one and witness two approached the suspect and told him that he had to leave immediately. [After a great show of resistance and a couple of blows,] the suspect was thrown outside. The suspect then walked away, screaming at the witnesses as he crossed Mercer Street... Based on the description provided by the employees, the suspect was apprehended and positively identified as the person who had removed his penis from his pants. However, no customer was willing to be listed as a victim of the exposed penis. The suspect is from Arizona but he now lives in Seattle."
The Telephone Guy/Lake City/Thurs Jan 12/10:41 pm: Officer Pirak reports: "The victim [white, male, 49, going through life in casual manner] said that he was having trouble with his phone line, so he called in a repair order. On Thursday, January 8, at around 8:00 a.m., the telephone man [white, male, in his 40s, blond, tall, thin, going through life in a hurried manner] showed up at the victim's apartment, saying he was there to service the phone line. The victim said that he wanted to reschedule, because it was 8:00 a.m. in the [fucking] morning, and the repairman showed up unannounced. After that early visit, the repairman called at least 10 times, wanting to come to the victim's apartment and fix the phone. The repairman would not relent; he [badly] wanted to fix the victim's phone. Finally, the victim called the phone company, and they told him that the problem had already been fixed, remotely. They had never sent anyone to his house and did not know anything about the suspect." The report ends right there, failing to ask or consider the most burning question: How does the fake telephone man have access to real repair orders?
posted by igor at 12:00 AM
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